is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
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I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
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I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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