then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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