he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
