READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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