Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
