she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
