All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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