Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
she pinky promised me she was 18
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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