I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think I am morally bankrupt
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
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it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
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we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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