Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
