i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
