Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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