Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
