Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
