so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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