Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
