He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
