Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
operation have a gay friend backfired
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Will exercising make me less horny?
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