I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
