HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
