This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
