I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
