i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
