Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
