She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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