He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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