i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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