All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
