Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
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