I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
