We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
