is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
