shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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