Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Come share oat with me in your robe
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
