your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
