her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
