Midget sex pt 2 tonight
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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