Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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