kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
