sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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