She is in my trunk
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize