She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
