we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I think my moral compass just broke
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
