I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
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Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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