i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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