i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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