Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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