what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
if only i could text you this smell
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
