Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
