Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize