Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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