And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
