so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
