yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
