hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
