"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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