Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
