Where did you get a picture of my penis
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
