dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
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We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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