left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
