dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
