i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
