i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
