Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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