i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
