Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
