Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
